Over 8 million people live in New York City and yet lasting romantic relationships can still seem hard to come by.
Because of this, many singles in the city have ditched swiping on dating apps for socializing in real life through in-person events such as running clubs, reading parties and singles meetups.
In the early 2010s, dating apps such as Tinder and Hinge became a prominent way to meet potential partners, and though they have produced countless successful love stories, many New York City singles are beginning to grow weary of them.
“I think there's some disenchantment with dating apps overall. A feeling like they're an option, but maybe not the best option,” said Kathryn Coduto, assistant professor of media science at Boston University and dating researcher. “An in-person meeting, a group maybe, where there’s similar interests, allows people to connect in person and have that initial conversation without the phone as an intermediary.”
Dating app fatigue paired with recent years of COVID-19 isolation has contributed to a recent upward trend of in-person social events. According to Eventbrite, in-person dating activities in the United States saw a 42% increase in attendance from 2022 to 2023.
Amber Soletti, founder of in-person singles dating event company Single and the City, has seen this trend, too, noting that her business is up 67% in event attendance from a year ago.
“People have this app fatigue, this swipe fatigue,” Soletti said. “They are ready to go back to in-person events and make authentic connections with people in real life.”
This is exactly the goal of the viral Lunge Run Club, a running club based in Manhattan targeted toward singles looking for love.
Founded earlier this year by Steve Cole and Rachael Lansing, the club meets every Wednesday in Manhattan for a 5-kilometer run followed by drinks at a bar. Lunge Run Club started with only 30 people and has since taken the city by storm, raking in hundreds of attendees each week.
The club encourages people to wear black if single and colors if taken, hoping to take some of the mystery and fear out of in-person dating events.
“People always use run clubs or recreational sports, anything like that, as a way to meet people,” Lansing said. “We kind of just took away that mask of, ‘I'm going and maybe I'll meet someone’ and now it's the intentional, ‘I'm showing up. I'm wearing all black. I'm saying I'm single. I'm looking to either meet some great friends or someone special.’”
Lunge Run Club is not alone in its mission, but rather a part of a movement of people seeking connection in one of the largest cities in the world. Soletti’s Single and the City hosts speed dating events and specialized singles mixers focused on shared interests, hobbies or even physical characteristics, such as height.
“Having something in common is a great starting point for a relationship, and that could be a friendship, but could also be a romantic relationship,” Coduto said. “That makes a lot of sense when you have something in common with someone, it gives you something to talk about.”
While Lunge Run Club and Single and the City are specifically marketed as dating scenes, other events are more broadly focused on facilitating community in general.
In June 2023, Ben Bradbury, Tom Worcester, Charlotte Jackson and John Lifrieri founded Reading Rhythms, “reading parties” during which people meet at various venues to read and socialize, helping people build community, friendships and possibly even more.
Bradbury explained how in-person interactions, such as those at Reading Rhythms, can facilitate connection in a way that cannot always be replicated online.
“Authentic connection, you can't fake it when you're in person. It's either authentic or it's not,” Bradbury said. “I think people are really enjoying that, that feeling of having people together and, also, just remembering what it's like to connect in person. I think society is really wanting that right now.”
Despite not necessarily being advertised as a place to find romantic love, Reading Rhythms has seen an outpouring of support and engagement similar to Lunge Run Club and Single and the City’s events. Reading Rhythms has hosted over 120 parties with 7,500 readers looking for an in-person connection over a shared interest.
“It's hard to feel someone's energy when you just see them online. I think with this day and age of social media, and curating our online presence, you get one layer of who someone is,” said Nikki D'Ambrosio, host and longtime participant of Reading Rhythms. “What I love about Reading Rhythms is it's not just, ‘Hi, my name is Nikki and this is what book I'm reading.’ It's really going deeper.”
From running to reading to speed dating, people are yearning for in-person connection and New York City has countless opportunities to offer.
