Student Union
No One Thinks You're Humble When You Mention Your Porsche
You’ve seen it among a group of friends, the inflated and often irritating “humblebrag.”
Maybe it was even you who did it.
Wanting to seem more important or smarter or wealthier or something, whatever, you blurted out how messy your hair looks as you pull off a Taylor Swift-worthy hair toss of your beautiful, long locks. Or you utter something about how irritating the traffic was Friday as you drove your new Porsche Panamera to your parents’ country house.
Or how you can’t believe you got 1580 on your SATs, especially when you didn’t have time to study because you were volunteering at a homeless shelter.
According to new research, the fake “humblebrag” will boomerang.
“Humblebragging, in fact, does not create more favorable impressions than either bragging or complaining,” according to a study authored by Ovul Sezer recently published in Harvard Business Review.
Because sincerity, the researchers said, is more highly valued than competence or success.
How it's done
There are two types of humblebragging, explained Sezer, who now teaches at University of North Carolina. One is based in complaining and one tries to feign humility.
“It’s like, ‘Oh my god, I’m so exhausted by all these dating requests, like, everyone just asks me out constantly, even in the grocery store,’” Sezer uses as an example. “Or, ‘I’m so tired of being the one my boss trusts in this company.’
“That’s very annoying to hear,” said Sezer.
The humility-based brag tries to make yourself look humble, but not really. Like saying you can’t believe you got into all your dream schools after being at the top of your class all through high school.
Sezer argues that the humility-based humblebrag is often more subtle and less annoying to peers than the complaint-based humblebrag. But either one is likely to repel rather than attract others.
“Research suggests that sincerity is desirable and is seen as particularly fundamental to people’s identity,” she and Harvard co-authors Francesca Gino and Michael I. Norton wrote.
For example, “It lowkey sucks being attractive because then if people don’t like you you know it’s your personality," reddit user alg0e wrote.
According to Sezer, “The reason why humblebragging fails to pay off, and it’s even worse than just straightforward bragging, is because it comes across as very fake.”
Becoming widespread
With social media, humblebragging has become more visible and maybe even more acceptable.
“With the digitalization of the world, it became more common everywhere. Now when I go to my Instagram feed or I check my Facebook and Twitter, I know that I will see a humblebrag on that day,” she told VOA. “There is something happening that people will be putting on their profiles, and that makes it seem like it’s okay.”
There are ways that you can be proud of your accomplishments and talk about them without bragging or humblebragging.
“I really think the best way to let others know about your accomplishments is really to get a wingman,” she said, describing someone who will promote and boast for you. “If you [are talking] to someone and they say, ‘Oh, he is amazing!’ or ‘She is just wonderful,’ it’s such a powerful way of knowing about someone’s accomplishments because it’s coming from somebody else, so I would highly recommend that.
“Because imagine, if it’s coming from someone else, it’s just like, more beautiful,” she said.
“If there’s no wingman for you, I would say still avoid the humblebrag,” Sezer said. “Because sincerity is very important in life. We really care about whether the people we interact with are being sincere or not.”
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They hold on to multiple identities — both their LGBTQ+ identity and their cultural background — but coming to terms with them is not always easy.
For graduate student David Zhou, these identities can feel conflicting as transgender rights in China remain a controversial issue and spaces for LGBTQ people close. Zhou, 25, is transgender and pursuing an education in the STEM field at an urban university in the Midwestern United States.
VOA is using a pseudonym for Zhou’s first name and is not naming his university to protect his identity due to safety concerns back home in China. Zhou is not open about his transgender identity to his family.
During Pride Month, Zhou said he attended multiple LGBTQ+ events in his community and is surrounded by a supportive group of LGBTQ+ students who can relate to his experiences. But he’s not open about his identity to everyone on campus and said he doesn’t disclose his preferred pronouns to everyone to avoid transphobic comments.
“I feel like I have to make some judgments of the character of that person to see if they’re a good person to disclose [my identity] to,” Zhou said.
Zhou’s Pride Month celebrations included attending local markets with LGBTQ+ vendors and hanging out with his LGBTQ+ friends.
“They normalized being trans and for a long time I feel like trans identity is, should I say a vulnerability, brings me fear and worrying about discrimination, but having those events are helpful because it allowed me to see that queer people could just [live] openly,” he said.
At social events where few international students are present, Zhou said it can be tough to fit in.
“There's a lot of times like when they were talking about things I kind of, don't really understand, mostly because I kind of lack some background experience or knowledge,” he said.
Zhou said he is not aware of specific groups for LGBTQ+ international students at his university, but said international students are more prevalent in graduate programs and therefore find representation in organizations for LGBTQ+ graduate students.
In China, transgender individuals must obtain consent from an “immediate family member,” even for adults hoping to transition, which critics say limits the autonomy of transgender individuals while supporters say the policy protects doctors from violence by upset parents.
Struby Struble, a former coordinator of the University of Missouri LGBTQ+ Resource Center, told NAFSA: Association of International Educators in 2015 that LGBTQ+ international students face a “double barrier” on campus.
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“I compare that to a year in after they've come into the space, they've again, maybe come to some of our events, they've got more connected,” he said.
Martin said graduate students have a unique interest in the Q Center as they may use the office for research and advocacy purposes that align with their studies.
“For older students, there may be hesitancy in a different way, but I think it's more in the vein of they want to do some of the advocacy work,” he said.
Martin said he thinks about how both his office and BU’s international student office can support students who come from countries with few — if any — protections for LGBTQ+ individuals.
“It's been a learning process of what those students really need, but I think I've kind of learned that a lot of students are just looking for the safe space that we offer,” Martin said.
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International students discuss US campus culture shock
International students at De Anza College in Cupertino, California, talked about culture shock in an article in La Voz News, the student newspaper.
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